Posts tagged West Virginia

Hillbilly Mirror

After living in the remote wilderness of West Virginia all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city.

In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it.  Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at  him,

‘How about that! Here’s a picture of my daddy.’

He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn’t like his father, so he hung it in the barn and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.  One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror.

As she looked into the glass, she fumed,

‘So that’s the ugly bitch he’s runnin’ around with.’

-Dan

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

West Virginia Home Security System

1. Go to a second hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14 – 16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Cooter, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the Pit Bulls – they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer dun it, but it’s hard to tell from all the blood.

P.S. I locked all four of ‘em in the house. Better wait outside.

-Dan

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...