A man was just about to tee off at his local when a carrying a called out,

Do you mind if I join you? I am a and haven’t got a yet.

Sure,

the man said,

You’re welcome.

So they started playing, enjoyed the and the company of each other. Part way around the course the man asked the ,

?

I’m a .

was the .

You’re joking!

was the response.

No, I’m not.

he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful action ’s rifle with a large .

Here are my tools.

That’s a powerful telescopic sight.

said the man,

May I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the of his house.

Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right into our bedroom. Wow, I can see my wife in there and she’s naked! Wait a minute, that’s my next door in there with her and he is naked, too!

He turned to the hitman,

How much do you charge for a hit?

I’ll do a flat rate, one sterling every time I pull the trigger.

Can you do two for me now?

Sure, what do you want?

First, shoot my wife. She’s always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then shoot my neighbour. I have always considered him being friend of mine, so just shoot his off. That should teach him a lesson.

The hitman raised the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for some time.

Are you going to do it or not?

said the man impatiently.

Just be patient.

said the hitman calmly.

I think I can save you a grand here.

-Dan