Posts tagged nurse

Nurses

Mar 1st

I know many of you have heard or read some like these…but here are some I haven’t seen before. The crazy thing about this list is that my wife has mentioned or told a story regarding most of every thing listed here. The fact that there is over 170 of them and someone not in the profession can relate or know of a bunch of these is even better.

The front of you scrubs read: ‘Nurses…here to save your ass, not kiss it!’
You occasionally park in the space with the ‘Physicians Only’ sign, and knock it over.
You’ve ever told a patient to ‘move toward the light.’
You believe that all the patient needs is some vitamin A (ativan)
You’ve ever run out of linens, syringes, IV fluid, meds, and patience all at the same time
You ever felt like a Gastroenterologist… because you work with a##holes
It IS as BAD as you think, and the patients ARE out to get you
You ever told a patient he didn’t need to be dead to donate an organ
You feel that earth is the insane asylum for the universe
You believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them
In a critical situation, the most highly qualified clinician will offer the most advice and the least support.
You do the “only-27-more-minutes-of-the-shift-from-hell happy dance”
When you need the money, your shift is cancelled; ….when you have a weekend planned, you have to do overtime.
You believe sick people don’t $itch
You believe the more equipment you see on a nurses belt, the newer they are.
You believe when dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
You believe If the child is quiet, be scared.
You always follow the rules, but be wise enough to forget them sometimes.
You believe if the patient vomits in the ED, try to hold their head to the side of the stretcher with the disposable equipment, not the stuff you have to clean.
You believe any family member who is more drunk (or more stupid) than the patient, is the real problem.
You can’t cure stupid.
You believe if it’s wet and sticky and not yours, leave it alone!
You believe that idiots that get into car crashes are the first ones to complain how bumpy the ambulance ride is.
You believe when a patient vomits, be sure to aim it at the family members who wouldn’t back up.
You never trust crash cart, drug box or airway bag to be fully stocked. More >

Alcohol, Bedpan, Blood Alcohol Level, cold, crazy, critical situation, Dead, Death, Dismemberment, disposable equipment, doctor, drunk, Earrings, Family, Flu, gastroenterologist, Government, Immune System, Insane, insane asylum, Medicines, meds, Migraine, Nose Ring, nurse, nurses, Pain, physicians, Prescription Medications, Prozac, sense of humor, Shift Change, Sick, Suicide, syringes, Tongue Depressor, Vomit

Endoscopy Part 2 the Aftermath

Feb 18th

Posted by Daniel Clark in 7 - Painful

5 comments

Well, my endoscopy is done. It was a cake procedure. They put in an I.V. and wheeled me into the exam room. They put a block in my mount for the camera to run through. They then administered 3 of Versaid and 5 of Fentenal (what ever the hell that means). The last thing I remember was a lady telling me I am going to feel a little sleepy and I swear not more then 5 seconds later I must have been out. I started dreaming that I was gagging on the camera cord and that I could feel the cord going deeper into my throat and then I felt it being pulled back out BUT remember, I thought that it was a dream since thats what it felt like. Next thing I remember, the nurse was talking to me and I asked her if it they started or if it was done and sure enough, it was done. I don’t remember a damn thing except for the dream I had which really must have been a dream/twilight sleep.

The weird thing about this whole deal was that when I was awake, I felt no grogginess or sleepiness and yet when I laid back down I was out like a light bulb and then the nurse would start talking to me I then would be up as if nothing had happened. I attribute that to the drugs but it was still weird.

Shit, they took pictures of everything and I wanted to get a copy of them to post up here… I’ll see if I can get a copy of them. They did not look good. He says that I have something that causes my stomach to become inflamed and swollen…

I am home now, and I am laying down to take advantage of being able to fall a sleep on a dime I took the rest of my meds and FINALLY had my cup of coffee on the way home so I am good to go. Good Night!