I know many of you have heard or read some like these…but here are some I haven’t seen before. The crazy thing about this list is that my wife has mentioned or told a story regarding most of every thing listed here. The fact that there is over 170 of them and someone not in the profession can relate or know of a bunch of these is even better.
- The front of you scrubs read: ‘Nurses…here to save your ass, not kiss it!’
- You occasionally park in the space with the ‘Physicians Only’ sign, and knock it over.
- You’ve ever told a patient to ‘move toward the light.’
- You believe that all the patient needs is some vitamin A (ativan)
- You’ve ever run out of linens, syringes, IV fluid, meds, and patience all at the same time
- You ever felt like a Gastroenterologist… because you work with a##holes
- It IS as BAD as you think, and the patients ARE out to get you
- You ever told a patient he didn’t need to be dead to donate an organ
- You feel that earth is the insane asylum for the universe
- You believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them
- In a critical situation, the most highly qualified clinician will offer the most advice and the least support.
- You do the “only-27-more-minutes-of-the-shift-from-hell happy dance”
- When you need the money, your shift is cancelled; ….when you have a weekend planned, you have to do overtime.
- You believe sick people don’t $itch
- You believe the more equipment you see on a nurses belt, the newer they are.
- You believe when dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
- You believe If the child is quiet, be scared.
- You always follow the rules, but be wise enough to forget them sometimes.
- You believe if the patient vomits in the ED, try to hold their head to the side of the stretcher with the disposable equipment, not the stuff you have to clean.
- You believe any family member who is more drunk (or more stupid) than the patient, is the real problem.
- You can’t cure stupid.
- You believe if it’s wet and sticky and not yours, leave it alone!
- You believe that idiots that get into car crashes are the first ones to complain how bumpy the ambulance ride is.
- You believe when a patient vomits, be sure to aim it at the family members who wouldn’t back up.
- You never trust crash cart, drug box or airway bag to be fully stocked. More >
Alcohol,
Bedpan,
Blood Alcohol Level,
cold,
crazy,
critical situation,
Dead,
Death,
Dismemberment,
disposable equipment,
doctor,
drunk,
Earrings,
Family,
Flu,
gastroenterologist,
Government,
Immune System,
Insane,
insane asylum,
Medicines,
meds,
Migraine,
Nose Ring,
nurse,
nurses,
Pain,
physicians,
Prescription Medications,
Prozac,
sense of humor,
Shift Change,
Sick,
Suicide,
syringes,
Tongue Depressor,
Vomit Nice way to start the new year. Throwing up, aching and a Migraine. What is next…
-Dan
Wow. Talk about getting fuckered up… Last night we went to the Barley House down-town Akron, my wife’s co-workers and a couple of my co-workers hooked up and we started drinking and didn’t stop until the taxi driver showed up to pick us up at the Upper Deck in Portage lakes. We went from down-town Akron to a boat ride on the Portage Lakes ending up at the Upper Deck… Wow… Crazy fucking night. We drank three or four pitchers of beer and I had three Yagear Bombs. Had fun none the less. Of course, by the time we got home, all the drinking had triggered a migraine. Thankfully I had an injection of Immitrex, three ibuprofen and three aspirin. After that, it was lights out and not because I turned the lights out but rather from passing out 
-Dan
Aspirin,
Barley,
Boat Ride,
Bombs,
Co Workers,
Ibuprofen,
Migraine,
Pitchers,
Portage Lakes,
Taxi Driver,
Upper Deck For the past three days, I have had a migraine that will not subside no matter what drugs I take for it. I missed work for two days straight now. Imitrex, pain killers, other migraine medicine just are not cutting it. I believe it has to do with my immune system going out of wack due to my AS (ankylosing spondylitis). The last two days, it started with a bad head ache, then my body became stiff and sore as if I were coming down with the Flu, I got a fever (low grade) but still ended up freezing to death in 68 degree room temperature. All I did was lay in bed with the lights off and the windows covered up the best I could to make it as dark as possible with covers over my head so I didn’t have to deal with the light.
If I wake up tomorrow with a head ache, I am going to the docs office and getting a pain killer shot because I can not take this much more. I can deal with not being able to move and in pain due to my joints but this pain in my head has to go. I originally thought I was coming down with something but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
This weather I think is the culprit. It can’t just be warm out. It has to be cold, warm cold warm… etc… This is fucking with my body really bad. You know, I know pain. I live with it. When I get a migraine, most of the time I just want to die versus my AS pain which I just can’t move due to the physical pain and thats fine with me but this migraine bullshit has to go. I can function even at my worst with AS, but even the littlest migraine puts me down for the entire day or until it subsides. The medicines I have taken to relieve my migraine may have done more harm to my body these last three days then the migraine itself.
I am praying that this episode of pain is over…
-Ruger
Ankylosing Spondylitis,
Culprit,
Degree Temperature,
drugs,
Fever,
Flu,
Freezing To Death,
Head Ache,
Imitrex,
Immune System,
Joints,
Medicine,
Medicines,
Migraine,
Migraine Medicine,
Pain In My Head,
Pain Killer,
Pain Killers,
Ruger,
Weather 
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