Despite.Org – Despise Everything!
Posts tagged meds
Life
Mar 3rd
February, March and April are my worst months. My middle finger on my left hand is now becoming deformed due to the joint fusion. Every morning I can not straighten it out. My rheumatologist is unable to keep my pain under control so now I have been referred to a pain specialist. Maybe this can be a good thing. Maybe they will give me the pain meds that actually work. I don’t know how many times I have said that I am getting so tired of the pain… I probably sound like a fucking record skipping over and over…
Insanity would best describe how I feel. I know now, how others have to live with pain that are far worse then I. Even then, I have problems dealing with my own situation and there are others far worse. I can’t imagine how others worse then I deal with it when I feel so insane from it. I am writing now because I can not sleep. The best thing you can do for insomnia is get up and do something.
I think I am going to file for short term disability through my work. I can’t be there on time on top of missing at least one or two days every week. I’ve talked with my boss and now trying to schedule a meeting with the President to see what I can do. This is something I have been trying to avoid. I keep thinking that I might get better and some days it feels like that but then I am reminded that any one with this disease has never gone into remission, my immune system goes crazy and then I have a flare up. I am so tired so so so so tired of the same shit over and over and over etc… It never fucking ends and it literally never will.
Author Daniel Clark
Endoscopy Part 2 the Aftermath
Feb 18th
Well, my endoscopy is done. It was a cake procedure. They put in an I.V. and wheeled me into the exam room. They put a block in my mount for the camera to run through. They then administered 3 of Versaid and 5 of Fentenal (what ever the hell that means). The last thing I remember was a lady telling me I am going to feel a little sleepy and I swear not more then 5 seconds later I must have been out. I started dreaming that I was gagging on the camera cord and that I could feel the cord going deeper into my throat and then I felt it being pulled back out BUT remember, I thought that it was a dream since thats what it felt like. Next thing I remember, the nurse was talking to me and I asked her if it they started or if it was done and sure enough, it was done. I don’t remember a damn thing except for the dream I had which really must have been a dream/twilight sleep.
The weird thing about this whole deal was that when I was awake, I felt no grogginess or sleepiness and yet when I laid back down I was out like a light bulb and then the nurse would start talking to me I then would be up as if nothing had happened. I attribute that to the drugs but it was still weird.
Shit, they took pictures of everything and I wanted to get a copy of them to post up here… I’ll see if I can get a copy of them. They did not look good. He says that I have something that causes my stomach to become inflamed and swollen…
I am home now, and I am laying down to take advantage of being able to fall a sleep on a dime 
I took the rest of my meds and FINALLY had my cup of coffee on the way home so I am good to go. Good Night!
Author Daniel Clark
This Week…
Jan 22nd
Author Daniel Clark
This past week has been bad. Every morning my hands have been the worst in terms of mobility. I can barely put on my on damn socks they hurt so bad. Once I sit down, its a battle to get back up under my own power due to my knees and ankles. The pain meds I have been taking are not working as well as they normally should since I have been taking them for years now and my body has built up an immunity to them so now I have to take double the amount I would normally take to get the same effect to take the edge off. My next appointment I am going to try and get different pain meds and alternate between the two so that they may work better. Also going to try and get my doctor to up the corticosteroids. I can’t believe I am still sane after all I have been through so far…
-Dan
Tags: 7 - Painful, Ankles, Appointment, AS/RA Report, Better, Boring, Buzzed, doctor, drugs, immunity, meds, mobility, My Mood, Pain, Pain, Pain Meds, Pain Rating, Past, Personal Blog, Personal Blog/Diary, Rated, Rated: PG, rheumatologist, Socks, Steroids, StressedCar Woes…
Oct 10th
Well, today after dropping off my son at school I loose all brakes in my car. Bad leak in the brake line. On top of that, someone bought our electric stove which I had to help pull out of the basement. In doing so, I sprained my back and my right arm is throbbing un-fucking controllably. That and I have no idea how the fuck I am getting to work in the morning… I guess I am venting here since I can’t get any sleep because of the pain and that I am pissed off because of it. I am seriously thinking about hitting some more OxyContin but if I do, I’l be in a comma in the morning and I won’t get anything done at all. All the meds I have to take make me fucking insane…
-Ruger
Tags: meds, My Mood, Pain, Pain, Personal Blog, Pissed Off, Stressed, stressed
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