Despite.Org – Despise Everything!
Posts tagged Legs
Tickle my Testicles!
Feb 19th
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.
Ticke Me Elmo
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena, ‘I’m sorry,’ he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, ‘but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday… Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.’
-Danny
Akron Police
May 6th
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 2:46 PM F.Y.I.
Just a heads up to let everyone know that a special motorcycle detail of the Ohio State Highway Patrol will be operating in Akron for the next two weeks. They started today and they will be concentrating on the interstate and state highways. They currently have 8 motor officers in town working 10 hour shifts each day.
I am told that they average issuing 2,000 tickets per week. This is part of a special spring cleaning crime and traffic Program the city of Akron is doing with OSP and other agencies. The motorcycle officers will be moving around daily and you can expect to see them on all legs of our expressway and some surface streets, especially those that are state routes (ex. Market St).
Please be alert for these troopers and our officers on motorcycles going after the speeders. You may even see them set up along the inside berm next to the median walls running their lasers and radar and then having to pull out into traffic. Please be watchful of them and of your own speed, I’d hate to see any of you get a ticket!
-Dan
-P.S. Not sure how true this is but you never know...
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