Despite.Org – Despise Everything!
Posts tagged Keg
Economic Perspective
Nov 21st
If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49.00 left. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
But if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214.00 in cash.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It’s called the 401-Keg. A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found Americans drink, on the average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Makes You Proud To Be An American!
-Dan
You know your old when…
Mar 10th
You know your old when in…
1977 : Long hair
2007 : Longing for hair
1977 : KEG
2007: EKG
1977 : Acid rock 
2007 : Acid reflux 
1977 : Moving to California because it’s cool 
2007 : Moving to Arizona because it’s warm 
1977 : Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 
2007: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
1977 : Seeds and stems 
2007 : Roughage 
1977 : Hoping for a BMW 
(ya, this looks like a 1977 beamer alright…)
2007: Hoping for a BM
1977 : Going to a new, hip joint 
2007 : Receiving a new hip joint 
1977 : Rolling Stones 
2007: Kidney Stones 
1977 : Screw the system 
2007: Upgrade the system 
1977 : Disco 
2007: Costco 
1977 : Parents begging you to get your hair cut 
2007: Kids begging to get heads shaved 
1977 : Passing the drivers’ test 
2007: Passing the vision test 
1977 : Whatever 
2007: Depends 
Just in case you weren’t feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year’s incoming freshmen.
Here’s this year’s list:
The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1989.
They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. 
Their lifetime has always included AIDS. 
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. 
The CD was introduced the year they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. 
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. 
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. 
They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from. 
They never heard: “Where’s the Beef?”, “I’d walk a mile for a Camel”, or “de plane, Boss, de plane.”
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is. 
McDonald’s never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter. 
Do you feel old yet? Notice the larger type, that’s for those of you who have trouble reading…
-Ruger
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