A Zebra Dies and goes to Heaven

A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter,

I have a question that’s haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?

St. Peter said,

That’s a question only God can answer.

So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked,

God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?

God simply replied,

You are what you are.

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him,

Well, did God straighten out your query for you?

The zebra looked puzzled and said,

No sir, God simply said You are what you are.

St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra,

Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.

The zebra asked St. Peter,

How do you know that for certain?

St. Peter replied,

Because, If you were black with white stripes God would have said, You is what you is.

-Ruger

A lady walks into a high class jewelry shop. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a sales man standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, “Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?”

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little ‘accident’, she asks, “Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?”

He answers, “Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you’re going to shit when I tell you the price”.

-Ruger

I was depressed tonight, so I called up one of them suicide lines and go figure I got some foreigner in Pakista. I could hardly understand him. I started to explain to him my situation and that I was having suicidal thoughts. The Pakistani got all excited and then asked me if I knew how to drive a truck?!?!?!?!?!?

-Ruger

I don’t know who came up with this joke but its ok.

www.internetisseriousbusiness.com

Click on the above link to view the page. Make sure your volume is turned up as it is hard to hear.

-Ruger

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