I am sick and tired of being in pain. I feel like I am going insane. The thought of this never ending is making me insane…
-Daniel
February, March and April are my worst months. My middle finger on my left hand is now becoming deformed due to the joint fusion. Every morning I can not straighten it out. My rheumatologist is unable to keep my pain under control so now I have been referred to a pain specialist. Maybe this can be a good thing. Maybe they will give me the pain meds that actually work. I don’t know how many times I have said that I am getting so tired of the pain… I probably sound like a fucking record skipping over and over…
Insanity would best describe how I feel. I know now, how others have to live with pain that are far worse then I. Even then, I have problems dealing with my own situation and there are others far worse. I can’t imagine how others worse then I deal with it when I feel so insane from it. I am writing now because I can not sleep. The best thing you can do for insomnia is get up and do something.
I think I am going to file for short term disability through my work. I can’t be there on time on top of missing at least one or two days every week. I’ve talked with my boss and now trying to schedule a meeting with the President to see what I can do. This is something I have been trying to avoid. I keep thinking that I might get better and some days it feels like that but then I am reminded that any one with this disease has never gone into remission, my immune system goes crazy and then I have a flare up. I am so tired so so so so tired of the same shit over and over and over etc… It never fucking ends and it literally never will.
Arthritis,
february march,
flare,
fusion,
Immune System,
Insane,
meds,
Middle Finger,
Pain,
Pain Meds,
rheumatologist,
short term disability I know many of you have heard or read some like these…but here are some I haven’t seen before. The crazy thing about this list is that my wife has mentioned or told a story regarding most of every thing listed here. The fact that there is over 170 of them and someone not in the profession can relate or know of a bunch of these is even better.
- The front of you scrubs read: ‘Nurses…here to save your ass, not kiss it!’
- You occasionally park in the space with the ‘Physicians Only’ sign, and knock it over.
- You’ve ever told a patient to ‘move toward the light.’
- You believe that all the patient needs is some vitamin A (ativan)
- You’ve ever run out of linens, syringes, IV fluid, meds, and patience all at the same time
- You ever felt like a Gastroenterologist… because you work with a##holes
- It IS as BAD as you think, and the patients ARE out to get you
- You ever told a patient he didn’t need to be dead to donate an organ
- You feel that earth is the insane asylum for the universe
- You believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them
- In a critical situation, the most highly qualified clinician will offer the most advice and the least support.
- You do the “only-27-more-minutes-of-the-shift-from-hell happy dance”
- When you need the money, your shift is cancelled; ….when you have a weekend planned, you have to do overtime.
- You believe sick people don’t $itch
- You believe the more equipment you see on a nurses belt, the newer they are.
- You believe when dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
- You believe If the child is quiet, be scared.
- You always follow the rules, but be wise enough to forget them sometimes.
- You believe if the patient vomits in the ED, try to hold their head to the side of the stretcher with the disposable equipment, not the stuff you have to clean.
- You believe any family member who is more drunk (or more stupid) than the patient, is the real problem.
- You can’t cure stupid.
- You believe if it’s wet and sticky and not yours, leave it alone!
- You believe that idiots that get into car crashes are the first ones to complain how bumpy the ambulance ride is.
- You believe when a patient vomits, be sure to aim it at the family members who wouldn’t back up.
- You never trust crash cart, drug box or airway bag to be fully stocked. More >
Alcohol,
Bedpan,
Blood Alcohol Level,
cold,
crazy,
critical situation,
Dead,
Death,
Dismemberment,
disposable equipment,
doctor,
drunk,
Earrings,
Family,
Flu,
gastroenterologist,
Government,
Immune System,
Insane,
insane asylum,
Medicines,
meds,
Migraine,
Nose Ring,
nurse,
nurses,
Pain,
physicians,
Prescription Medications,
Prozac,
sense of humor,
Shift Change,
Sick,
Suicide,
syringes,
Tongue Depressor,
Vomit My pain never ends. This last weekend, both Saturday and Sunday mornings were horrible. Both hands/fingers completely frozen. Locked up to the point that I could not open my hands at all. I would start to try and open them and then they would stick and pain shoots all the way up both arms. My knee’s were also swollen. If I sat down for more then 5 minutes, I would have serious trouble getting up to a standing position on my own. The pain pills (OxyContin) is not working like it should any more. I figure my body has built up an immunity to it making it ineffective. I think I am going to try and have my doctor change my medications to see if that helps any (and if he even does it). I have so much shit to do yet I can’t do it in this condition. I am so sick of feeling like this that it is driving me insane. Fucking INSANE!
-Dan
Drepressed,
drugs,
Immune System,
Insane,
Joints,
OxyContin,
Pain,
Pain Rating of 9,
Personal Blog/Diary,
rheumatologist,
Sick 
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