Posts Tagged ‘Hallway’

Cake or Bed

Thursday, March 6th, 2008

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now. He looks at her and says angrily, fix the lights now? Does it look like i have ge written on my forehead? I don’t think so.Fine, then the wife asks, well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won’t close right to which he replied, fix the fridge door? Does it look like i have westinghouse written on my forehead? I don’t think so.

Fine, she says then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break i’m not a carpenter and i don’t want to fix steps he says, does it look like i have ace hardware written on my forehead? I don’t t hink so i’ve had enough of you. I’m going to the bar!!!! So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours.

He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home as he walks into the house he notices that the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house , he sees the hall light is working as he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. Honey, he asks, how’d all this get fixed? She said, well, when you left i sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and i told him . He offered to do all the repairs, and all i had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake. He said, so what kind of cake did you bake?

She replied, hellooooo.. Do you see betty crocker written on my forehead? I don’t think so!
-Ruger

Girls Night Out

Friday, February 8th, 2008

I don’t know who came up with this joke but its ok.


The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 Cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him ‘MIDNIGHT’… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one!Then he said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’ When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh shit.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.



-Ruger