Science Projects
Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
-Dan
Archive for the ‘Rated: PG-13’ Category
Zebra Joke
Monday, June 2nd, 2008A Zebra Dies and goes to Heaven
A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter,
I have a question that’s haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?
St. Peter said,
That’s a question only God can answer.
So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked,
God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?
God simply replied,
You are what you are.
The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him,
Well, did God straighten out your query for you?
The zebra looked puzzled and said,
No sir, God simply said You are what you are.
St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra,
Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.
The zebra asked St. Peter,
How do you know that for certain?
St. Peter replied,
Because, If you were black with white stripes God would have said, You is what you is.
-Ruger
Wisdom
Friday, April 25th, 2008The Wisdom of An Older Man…
An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall. “Excuse me; I can’t seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, “Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?” “I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with huge tits like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere.”.
-Ruger
The Difference Between Hawaii and Kentucky
Thursday, April 10th, 2008Hawaii
Kentucky
-Ruger
Girls Night Out
Friday, February 8th, 2008I don’t know who came up with this joke but its ok.
The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 Cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him ‘MIDNIGHT’… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one!Then he said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’ When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh shit.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
-Ruger
Loading ...
The Wall RSS Feed