For the past three days, I have had a migraine that will not subside no matter what drugs I take for it. I missed work for two days straight now. Imitrex, pain killers, other migraine medicine just are not cutting it. I believe it has to do with my immune system going out of wack due to my AS (ankylosing spondylitis). The last two days, it started with a bad head ache, then my body became stiff and sore as if I were coming down with the Flu, I got a fever (low grade) but still ended up freezing to death in 68 degree room temperature. All I did was lay in bed with the lights off and the windows covered up the best I could to make it as dark as possible with covers over my head so I didn’t have to deal with the light.

If I wake up tomorrow with a head ache, I am going to the docs office and getting a pain killer shot because I can not take this much more. I can deal with not being able to move and in pain due to my joints but this pain in my head has to go. I originally thought I was coming down with something but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

This weather I think is the culprit. It can’t just be warm out. It has to be cold, warm cold warm… etc… This is fucking with my body really bad. You know, I know pain. I live with it. When I get a migraine, most of the time I just want to die versus my AS pain which I just can’t move due to the physical pain and thats fine with me but this migraine bullshit has to go. I can function even at my worst with AS, but even the littlest migraine puts me down for the entire day or until it subsides. The medicines I have taken to relieve my migraine may have done more harm to my body these last three days then the migraine itself.

I am praying that this episode of pain is over…

-Ruger

This weekend we went to Pittsburgh for the Fan Blitz 2008 at Heinz Field. You can view the pictures we took at our picture gallery (Heinz Field Steelers Fan Blitz 2008). Here is a pic of one of the entrances (click on images to enlarge):

This next pic is of the Kids and I. I am on the left obviously.

This was a really cool day. I am not sure the kids enjoyed it as much as I but it was fun non the less. One of these days when we have some extra cash, we are hitting this stadium to watch a Steelers Home game and or heading over to the Cleveland Browns stadium to watch the Browns get womped by the Steelers on the road game. Either way, its gonna cost some cash $$$$.

-Ruger

I called this roughly 6 months after I was diagnosed. It’s only common sense. The human body can only take so much of your immune system attacking itself, and in short, it does one hell of a job destroying itself. Not to mention the drugs and the stress of the pain that you have to deal with. It all adds up (see below). I have been saying all along, my life span has been shortened. People have been telling me “oh no, I know people who take all kinds of drugs and are still alive in their 80′ or 90’s”. Well, I am not going to be one of the lottery winners that make it that long. Although this is some fucked up depressing news, it only confirms what I already knew.

Older medical literature suggests that people with rheumatoid arthritis may live 10-15 years less than their healthy counterparts. Life expectancy is influenced by many factors though, including family history, overall health, and lifestyle choices. The newest class of arthritis drugs, referred to as biologics, hopefully will offer a better prognosis.

# Rheumatoid Arthritis Shortens Life Expectancy
# The Correlation of Life Expectancy and Arthritis
# The Effect of Rheumatoid Arthritis on Mortality

Pulled from:
http://arthritis.about.com/od/rheumatoidarthritis/a/rheumatoid_fact.htm

-Ruger

I am hoping that its just the time of the year - end of January and the month of February. If you would have asked me yesterday, I would have answered that last night and yesterday was the worst I have felt all year (since last Jan & Feb) and even then I don’t think I was this bad. Its 1 AM right now and I am unable to sleep. So far, my right hand at the main knuckle joints are flaring up to the point that I can’t make a fist and or put any pressure on the palm of my hand to do simple tasks like using my hand to push myself up when standing or even sitting down. Next my jaw joint on the right side of my face is making it hard to even eat. I am trying to restrict my diet to soups and soft foods. The sharp pain from turning my head and or opening my mouth to yawn sends sharp stinging waves of pain up the side of my face into my head triggering migraine headaches. Every time I move, a joint pops/cracks somewhere on my body with needle sticking pain in the joint. My lower back, both hips, knees, and ankles are all flaring to the point that I can only take baby steps when walking and forget about standing up from a sitting position. I am on some very powerful narcotics, NSaids and corticosteroids. Not to mention the Prozac I take for depression and or what ever it helps for in dealing with this situation. I have been taking more then the recommended dosage and I still feel like this. I can only imagine what it would be like with out those medicines. Anyone with an autoimmune disease will know exactly what I am talking about. I can say one thing, if I didn’t have the mind altering medicines (Prozac, Welbutrin…) I would be in a world of hurt. No one can appreciate the way pain makes one feel from being in pain the majority of the day, every day. Pain makes you think and do some crazy things that would make a normal person think you are mentally ill. Maybe I am? If so, its only due to the pain and the failure (which is almost impossible) to manage it.

-Ruger

I have no idea how to even explain how the last week has been. Well, I have AS and or RA so I take a lot of drugs. One of them being OxyContin. I get a month at a time and since it is a controlled substance, I have to have a prescription each month. This time round, I had my wife call my doctor to get my OxyContin Script. I normally request the script 7 days in advance since I won’t have to be with out. Well I ran out and had to wait 4 days with out any OxyContin. Now, the last 4 days I have been detoxing. Detoxing from 40 Milligrams of OxyContin a day!

I finally got my scripts so the aching, painful movements are gone now.  The edge has been dulled to a almost nothing now.  This was one of the worst weeks this year for me.  The only thing I have a hard time with is knowing that something as small as a pill has such power of me.  But then again, I need this pill to live a half way normal life.  I am on a double edge sword.  At least I am still alive…

-Ruger