Useless Ramblings

Life

February, March and April are my worst months.  My middle finger on my left hand is now becoming deformed due to the joint fusion.  Every morning I can not straighten it out.  My rheumatologist is unable to keep my pain under control so now I have been referred to a pain specialist.  Maybe this can be a good thing.  Maybe they will give me the pain meds that actually work.  I don’t know how many times I have said that I am getting so tired of the pain…  I probably sound like a fucking record skipping over and over…

Insanity would best describe how I feel.  I know now, how others have to live with pain that are far worse then I.  Even then, I have problems dealing with my own situation and there are others far worse.  I can’t imagine how others worse then I deal with it when I feel so insane from it. I am writing now because I can not sleep.  The best thing you can do for insomnia is get up and do something.

I think I am going to file for short term disability through my work.  I can’t be there on time on top of missing at least one or two days every week.  I’ve talked with my boss and now trying to schedule a meeting with the President to see what I can do.  This is something I have been trying to avoid.  I keep thinking that I might get better and some days it feels like that but then I am reminded that any one with this disease has never gone into remission, my immune system goes crazy and then I have a flare up.  I am so tired so so so so tired of the same shit over and over and over etc…  It never fucking ends and it literally never will.

Author Daniel Clark on the Front Porch

Author Daniel Clark

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Left Hand Lock Up

My left hand keeps locking up.  Every morning I wake up to my left hand curled up almost into a fist and I am unable to straighten it out at all.  If I try the pain is so bad that it prevents me from even moving any of my fingers.  It takes about 40Mg’s of Oxycontin, one Mobic, 30 Mg’s of Prednisone and maybe some Vicodin for break through pain.  Then I have to wait about an hour for it all to kick in.  I have to figure something out at night to keep my and in to keep it straight and not curl up…

Author Daniel Clark on the Front Porch

Author Daniel Clark

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Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Have a…

Merry Christmas

and

a

Happy New Year!


Time until Christmas Day:
2 months, 2 weeks, 5 days, 21 hours, 6 minutes, 15 seconds ago

Time until January 1st, 2010:
2 months, 1 week, 5 days, 21 hours, 6 minutes, 15 seconds ago

-Dan

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It’s Friday…

It’s Friday.  Need I say more?

-Dan

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Pigs

Fuck you pigs!  …  Never liked farm animals!  Should something called Orange Dream from T.G.I.F.’s clump in the cup?  Freak’n me out man…

-Dan

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