Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men… That night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet again…

The engaged girlfriend said:

The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4′ stilettos and mask. He said, You are the woman of my life, I love you, then we made love all night long.

The mistress stated:

Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat When I opened the raincoat, he didn’ say a word. We just had wild sex all night.

The married one then said:

The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, Hey Batman, what’s for dinner?

-Ruger

The Wisdom of An Older Man…

An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall. “Excuse me; I can’t seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, “Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?” “I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with huge tits like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere.”.

-Ruger

A lady walks into a high class jewelry shop. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a sales man standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, “Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?”

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little ‘accident’, she asks, “Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?”

He answers, “Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you’re going to shit when I tell you the price”.

-Ruger

Three little boys were concerned

because they couldn’t get anyone to play with them.

They decided it was because they had not been baptized

and didn’t go to Sunday School .

So they went to the nearest Church.

But, only the Janitor was there .

One little boy said,

“We need to be baptized

because no one will come out and play with us.
Will you baptize us?”

“Sure,” said the Janitor.

He took them into the bathroom

and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl,

one at a time.

Then he said, “You are now baptized!”

When they got outside,

one of them asked,

“What religion do you think we are?”

the oldest one said,

“We’re not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you.”

“We’re not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water.”

“We’re not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle water on you.”

The littlest one said,

“Didn’t you smell that water?!”

They all joined in asking,

“Yeah! What do you think that means?”

“I think it means we’re Pisscopailians.”

-Ruger

Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother, “Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today!”. Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a peanut.”.

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally’s Mum asked, “Really? Small was it?”.

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-Ruger