Name: Daniel, aka "Danny"

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Web Site: http://www.Despite.Org

AIM: DWClark1970

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Bio: About me? Well, I am boring. Not much happens to me but when it does I'll be sure to share it with you on the blog. My home web site is http://www.ClarksHouse.US/

Posts by Danny:

3 Days of Hell

March 17th, 2010

Three of the most beautiful days this year and I lived them in hell.  It has literally been years since I have felt this bad.  I have complained before about my pain (if you read my past posts) but this was very different.  There were a few times in my life that I specifically remember events that were physically painful.  The reason I remember them is because they were the most painful events in my life to date.  The first, back in 1988 (or roughly there in) I broke two bones in my foot up close towards my toes and shattered two joints (according to the doctor) in my ankle all on the right foot playing back yard tackle football.  I know, stupid.  We were boys having fun.  Anyways, after the E. R. visit and the foot reset, that entire night, my right foot was so painful and aching that I could not stand it.  I cried like a baby.  I had to have my wife (my girlfriend at that particular time) poke my toes through the cast since it felt like I was loosing the feeling in my entire foot.  All they gave me for the pain was Tylenol with Codeine.

The next time is around 1996 or 97.  I have yet to be diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis at that time.  The painful affects of this disease had already started around 1995, 96.  I was undiagnosed for two years.  One night, the pain in my hip joints and my right leg were killing me.  The muscle was actually cramping causing more pain.  At this time, I had no idea why or what this even was.  The next morning I went to St. Thomas Hospital E. R. where they thought I was a drug seeker.  They gave me Vicodin and referred me to a bone specialist.  It was at this point I finally started to get answers and was diagnosed 3 to 4 months later.  The pain before the ER visit was so bad, that again, I cried and was unable to walk or move.  If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that I broke my femur bone.  At least that’s what I would think it feels like.  These two painful events, will be with me for the rest of my life, that is until something new comes along which I pray to God does not happen.

There is one more time that could rival the past two painful events.  This one started March 9th, 2010 and went through March 11th, 2010.  I missed all three days of work due to it.  Only worked two days, Monday and Friday.  If you have read my past posts, you’ll see that I bitch about my left hand a lot and how it painfully locks up on me in the mornings.  The 9th and 10th were not that bad.  Bad enough for me to call off of work.  It was the 11th that I cringe thinking about.  Both the 9th & 10th my left hand was locked up (obviously no shocker there).  The 11th, I woke up in the middle of the night/morning around 2AM (I only got to bed around 1AM) to roll over and when I did the painful scream I let out woke the dogs up and they started barking.  Every joint, Every part of my body that has connective tissue called cardilog was locked.  I couldn’t even roll over on my back with out shrieking in agonizing pain.  Normally, this only lasts an hour or two but that day, it lasted almost eight hours.  Even overdosing on Oxycontin and Vicodin (both) I still had severe issues with pain and mobility.  Felt like Bone on Bone.  Not only could I feel it, you could hear it, sounded like Bone on Bone.  Man, not have the right medicine (Enbrel) is really starting to take its toll on my body.  I know these months are the worst for me but this has been worse then normal.  I am not sure how I keep sane.  Maybe I am not sane, I just don’t know it and everyone else around me is pretending that I am sane…



Author Daniel Clark

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Life

March 3rd, 2010

February, March and April are my worst months.  My middle finger on my left hand is now becoming deformed due to the joint fusion.  Every morning I can not straighten it out.  My rheumatologist is unable to keep my pain under control so now I have been referred to a pain specialist.  Maybe this can be a good thing.  Maybe they will give me the pain meds that actually work.  I don’t know how many times I have said that I am getting so tired of the pain…  I probably sound like a fucking record skipping over and over…

Insanity would best describe how I feel.  I know now, how others have to live with pain that are far worse then I.  Even then, I have problems dealing with my own situation and there are others far worse.  I can’t imagine how others worse then I deal with it when I feel so insane from it. I am writing now because I can not sleep.  The best thing you can do for insomnia is get up and do something.

I think I am going to file for short term disability through my work.  I can’t be there on time on top of missing at least one or two days every week.  I’ve talked with my boss and now trying to schedule a meeting with the President to see what I can do.  This is something I have been trying to avoid.  I keep thinking that I might get better and some days it feels like that but then I am reminded that any one with this disease has never gone into remission, my immune system goes crazy and then I have a flare up.  I am so tired so so so so tired of the same shit over and over and over etc…  It never fucking ends and it literally never will.



Author Daniel Clark

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Nurses

March 1st, 2010

I know many of you have heard or read some like these…but here are some I haven’t seen before.  The crazy thing about this list is that my wife has mentioned or told a story regarding most of every thing listed here.  The fact that there is over 170 of them and someone not in the profession can relate or know of a bunch of these is even better.

1. The front of you scrubs read: ‘Nurses…here to save your ass, not kiss it!’
2. You occasionally park in the space with the ‘Physicians Only’ sign, and knock it over.
3. You’ve ever told a patient to ‘move toward the light.’
4. You believe that all the patient needs is some vitamin A (ativan)
5. You’ve ever run out of linens, syringes, IV fluid, meds, and patience all at the same time
6. You ever felt like a Gastroenterologist… because you work with a##holes
7. It IS as BAD as you think, and the patients ARE out to get you
8. You ever told a patient he didn’t need to be dead to donate an organ
9. You feel that earth is the insane asylum for the universe
10. You believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them
11. In a critical situation, the most highly qualified clinician will offer the most advice and the least support.
12. You do the “only-27-more-minutes-of-the-shift-from-hell happy dance”
13. When you need the money, your shift is cancelled; ….when you have a weekend planned, you have to do overtime.
14. You believe sick people don’t $itch
15. You believe the more equipment you see on a nurses belt, the newer they are.
16. You believe when dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
17. You believe If the child is quiet, be scared.
18. You always follow the rules, but be wise enough to forget them sometimes.
19. You believe if the patient vomits in the ED, try to hold their head to the side of the stretcher with the disposable equipment, not the stuff you have to clean.
20. You believe any family member who is more drunk (or more stupid) than the patient, is the real problem.
21. You can’t cure stupid.
22. You believe if it’s wet and sticky and not yours, leave it alone!
23. You believe that idiots that get into car crashes are the first ones to complain how bumpy the ambulance ride is.
24. You believe when a patient vomits, be sure to aim it at the family members who wouldn’t back up.
25. You never trust crash cart, drug box or airway bag to be fully stocked. Read the rest of this entry “

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Left Hand Lock Up

February 25th, 2010

My left hand keeps locking up.  Every morning I wake up to my left hand curled up almost into a fist and I am unable to straighten it out at all.  If I try the pain is so bad that it prevents me from even moving any of my fingers.  It takes about 40Mg’s of Oxycontin, one Mobic, 30 Mg’s of Prednisone and maybe some Vicodin for break through pain.  Then I have to wait about an hour for it all to kick in.  I have to figure something out at night to keep my and in to keep it straight and not curl up…



Author Daniel Clark

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Economy Blues

February 22nd, 2010

The economy is so bad that…

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”.

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked  “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Thats just Great!  The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally…

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.,  I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

-Danny

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Tickle my Testicles!

February 19th, 2010


Tickle me Elmo

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door.  The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.



Ticke Me Elmo

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena, ‘I’m sorry,’ he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, ‘but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday…  Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.’

-Danny

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