Dan’s Blog

I am hoping that its just the time of the year - end of January and the month of February. If you would have asked me yesterday, I would have answered that last night and yesterday was the worst I have felt all year (since last Jan & Feb) and even then I don’t think I was this bad. Its 1 AM right now and I am unable to sleep. So far, my right hand at the main knuckle joints are flaring up to the point that I can’t make a fist and or put any pressure on the palm of my hand to do simple tasks like using my hand to push myself up when standing or even sitting down. Next my jaw joint on the right side of my face is making it hard to even eat. I am trying to restrict my diet to soups and soft foods. The sharp pain from turning my head and or opening my mouth to yawn sends sharp stinging waves of pain up the side of my face into my head triggering migraine headaches. Every time I move, a joint pops/cracks somewhere on my body with needle sticking pain in the joint. My lower back, both hips, knees, and ankles are all flaring to the point that I can only take baby steps when walking and forget about standing up from a sitting position. I am on some very powerful narcotics, NSaids and corticosteroids. Not to mention the Prozac I take for depression and or what ever it helps for in dealing with this situation. I have been taking more then the recommended dosage and I still feel like this. I can only imagine what it would be like with out those medicines. Anyone with an autoimmune disease will know exactly what I am talking about. I can say one thing, if I didn’t have the mind altering medicines (Prozac, Welbutrin…) I would be in a world of hurt. No one can appreciate the way pain makes one feel from being in pain the majority of the day, every day. Pain makes you think and do some crazy things that would make a normal person think you are mentally ill. Maybe I am? If so, its only due to the pain and the failure (which is almost impossible) to manage it.

-Ruger